could it be?

i have this desire to know everything and go everywhere. i want to meet people, learn, and explore the world. i have this 'thirst for knowledge' that hasn't been quenched yet. the only problem is that i have no direction. since graduating from college, i've realized that my goals were all fulfilled. i hadn't really set goals for myself past college. and my dreams as a child were always directed toward college. 

now i'm on the other side of my dreams and goals. and WHAT THE CRAP AM I DOING?!?!?! where the heck do i go from here? 

i've been thinking a lot lately about what i want for myself. i heard a dear friend say to another person one time, "even if you aren't sure that it's God's will to do something, but you want to do it, do it. if he doesn't want you to do it, he'll lead you where he wants you." i know there are lots of theological things that people could say regarding that statement... blah blah blah. i love jesus. i'm freakin' reformed. but i think that we reformed folk sometimes put way too much emphasis on figuring out God's will, that we forget to LIVE in his will at that moment. 

and now i've been getting a strong desire to go back to ireland at some point.

so i'm making a goal for myself. here it is: I'm going to finish my masters. apply at notre dame and trinity college and see where i am at that point. if i have money to move to dublin in a few years, that's what i'm doing. music is where my heart is, and God is giving me a heart for ireland that i never imagined. i don't know what's going on, but there it is. i wonder if between now and then if he'll change my direction again :)  

wow.