the importance of being aware...

alright. so my last post was a little rash, so i'll just keep that stored somewhere and not worry about it :) in the mean time, i'm loving RTS and I'm glad that the Lord has placed me here at the moment. I think there are MANY things to learn between now and the next thing that I do in my life, whether that is in ministry, or in further schooling. For instance... I have 3 stories to tell that God is using to grow my understanding of what the kingdom is, the smallness of myself, and challenges that Christians face everyday, and of his vast glory. God is great. Here are my stories: 

1. My mom and I were shopping about a month and a half ago at TJ Maxx. and as we were getting in the car, a lady came up behind us and stood there. I got in my side of the car and looked over my shoulder to put my seat belt on. And I saw her. And she was talking to me. I looked at mom and told her there was a lady standing outside of my door. Mom looked and rolled down the window. The woman said, "This is embarrassing. But, could you help me get something to eat?" 

I shut down. I was so sad for her. I was shocked at how she asked the question because she asked for food, not money. She wasn't like the homeless people I'd met in Chattanooga. She was a woman that had NOTHING. she wasn't carrying anything but the clothes on her back. And she just wanted food. 

At that moment I think my soul was displaced from my body. I just watched how my mom reacted. My mom didn't say anything but looked in her wallet and didn't even count the money. Mom just gave her all the cash she had. It was probably 10 dollars. The lady reached in the window to take the money and you could tell she was very thankful. Mom said, "God bless you..." And the Lady walked away. And we just sat there watching her walk off to find food. 

I was glad that mom helped, but I was useless. Maybe that's what God wanted for that moment... me to be silent and let mom help that woman. But upon reflection, I've learned about myself that when I'm in "selfish" mode, I'm not on "ministry" mode. It's definitely something that I have been thinking about since and I've tried to be more aware of the people around me and pray that God would make me less selfish so that he can use me anywhere at any time- not just when I'm on a mission trip or something. I desire to be useful in kingdom expansion and help the homeless, care for the widows, care for the fatherless. I care so much about social justice in general, and instead of feeling sad about the socio-economic status of that woman, it should have been a knee-jerk reaction to care about her soul. Social justice action should come with witnessing, I think. The two shouldn't be separated. 10 dollars will last a couple of days.. maybe. But a soul lasts for eternity. Gosh.. I pray that my lack of effort in that situation was a "one-time" fault. I feel like that God used it to open my eyes to my own selfishness... what a lesson He taught me. And I pray that that woman will know Jesus.... Please Lord, let her know you. 

2. So, I've been thinking about that woman for a while... which brings me to my next story. SO!!! Elise came to visit me the other day. Friday we decided to go to Charlotte for the day. we went to RTS and lunch and then we wanted ice cream. So we went to an ice cream store. We ate our ice cream and then saw this ice cream pint that was called "Dublin Mudslide" - it looked ssoooooooo yummy! And we thought about buying it, but decided not to. Anyways... we met Joe. Joe the ice cream man. It turned out that he wasn't a Christian. Not religious in any sense. Basically, his heart was closed to God. After two hours of talking, a few interruptions, and a warm waffle cone snack, he was "enlightened" but still hard to the Gospel, but it was a good conversation. There was also this other girl (she made us the waffle cone). She was listening intently on our conversation. She didn't say anything, but you could tell she was listening and thinking about what we were talking about. Anyways, noone was converted, but it was SO awesome that we had the opportunity to talk with Joe and some with the girl, and that at the end of the conversation, Joe was thinking about the Gospel. Elise told him to read John (and I pray that he does!). And God used it to further open my eyes to hurting people. Especially in the Bible Belt, I don't typically think that the people around me don't know Jesus, but boy how I'm wrong. So many people don't know Him. But I'm so thankful that he put us there at that moment. We totally were not expecting that, but the Lord definitely gave us that time to share Jesus with those people, and I feel so blessed that he let us talk to random people for two hours about our Daddy in Heaven. Praise Jesus! 

3. So, that story was a few days ago. Today I went to church with an old friend and her sister. None of us had ever been to this church. We went to a church in Huntersville that turned out to be really skewed in their doctrine. The whole time I was just praying that God would somehow be glorified in all that border-line heresy. I mean... seriously. I can't even put that church in a category. It was so... spacy. I wont go into all of the details, but basically, I didn't really see the Gospel of Jesus Christ preached. It was very, very shallow, and.. well... sad. I felt really sad for the congregation. 

This church story from today is just further testament to me that there are SO SO SO many people that still don't know the living God. All around me. And there are so many things that we Christians have wrong. I pray that our churches will get on track with the will of God. I pray that we will understand the Kingdom. I pray that we will know the value of the gift that we have been given. I pray that we will participate in the battle... that we will know intimately the promises of Jesus and the love He gives. 

And I pray that God will use me... that he will keep me attentive and aware of these things.